How to be an American Abroad without Getting Punched in the Face

I started writing this post after the third day in a row of foreigners telling me all about what they know or think about Americans. Most of that “knowledge” is stereotypes from movies, but some of it is real and I have experienced Americans abroad enough to agree with them.

I highly recommend all of the following advice when you (not just Americans) travel abroad, much from personal experience or horror stories from friends. They are in no particular order, so just read the ones that are relevant to you 🙂

First step: Don’t say you’re an American.

Say instead, “Hi my name is Kirsten. I’m from California! What’s your name?” Obviously, substitute your own name and state.

Th United States isn’t super popular around the world right now, and for A LOT of reasons, it is, and has been, a super controversial country.

Step 2: Do your homework about local customs, laws and history.

I’ve heard from several foreign friends that they find it extremely rude when American tourists show up in a country with zero respect or knowledge of local customs. Don’t look like a jackass by doing things that are common knowledge no-no’s. Think about how rude it would be if someone came into your grandmother’s house, threw themselves onto her couch and put their muddy boots on her beautiful coffee table, while man-spreading and colorfully denouncing the bible at the top of their lungs. There are just some things that you should never do anywhere.

But there are also more subtle things in every country. In Finland you take your shoes off at the door but keep your socks on. In England (and most of Western Europe) you cut food with the knife in your dominant hand and eat it with the fork in your non-dominant hand and your hands shouldn’t touch the food unless its very obviously finger food (and even then, check to make sure they don’t cut their pizza and eat it with a fork!). In Chile, you have to tip the person who bags groceries.

And PLEASE, for the love of Pete, read up on the laws of the country you are going to. Rules of the road, drug use (including alcohol consumption), weapons laws, etc are all common and easy ways to end up with much harsher punishments than that which you might incur in the US.

Also, take an hour or two to look up important events in the history of a country. I’ve found that people often ask foreigners if they know about such and such event that occurred and changed the entire course of the country forever. Also keep in mind that, even though you are super duper curious, some historical events don’t get talked about with foreigners. In Chile, you don’t bring up the dictatorship unless expressly asked what you know about it. Another country (I am blanking on the name),

Step 3: Do your homework about America’s past, present and current influence in that country.

The United States Government has had its fingers in a lot of pies in the short 230-odd years it’s existed. In that time, we’ve done a lot of good and a lot of bad.

In some places, like Germany, the general consensus is that America is the epitome of Democracy (this commentary is something a German friend told me when we met in Chile). But in others, the US is the reason they are ruled by dictators and tyrants. Take Chile for example: the US was scared of the socialistic turn (or concerned by the decrease in profits) the Chilean government had taken under President Salvador Allende, and they supported the military coup lead by Augusto Pinochet, whose reign of terror as dictator lasted for 40 years.

This dichotomy of foreign policy can be seen the world over in the struggle between the ideals of democracy and capitalism, which are the pillars on which America stands. Don’t go poking the bear by bringing up how GREAT America is in a country that has been stomped all over by us.

Step 4: Avoid talking about politics or religion (or sports!).

Goodness knows this is common sense advice even in your own country. But it’s especially important while abroad, simply because you come from very different traditions and belief systems than the people you are meeting.

In many countries, especially in Latinx America, religion is nationally important and very present in every day life. I am at a Catholic university in Chile and we have a chapel, multiple monuments to saints and Christ, and a cross in every single classroom. Try to keep an open mind to what others believe, because in the end we’re all just people!

Non-Americans will want you to explain to them what-the-actual-f— is up with the American Electoral system (I always tell them their guess is as good as mine). Try to keep an open mind if they want to talk about their opinions on American policy and if they very obviously have different ones than you, steer clear of the topic!

They’re also going to want to talk about your opinion on guns and American gun policy (check out step 5 below).

I added sports here because some countries are huge sport fanatics. 

Step 5: Immediately assume that the person you are talking to does not support American gun policy.

I have yet to meet a non-American that thinks Second Amendment supporters are in the right. Many people are legitimately frightened and have no desire to live in (or even come to) America because of the real possibility of gun violence.

In some countries, like England, the police force doesn’t even carry guns, it is not possible to get a licence for hand guns, and hunting rifles must be registered and checked on by the government in 3 or more random searches per year.

Gun policy is one of the topics that almost always gets brought up when I speak with Europeans. I always tell them what I know about it without picking a side, and then ask them what they think and what their country’s policy is.

Step 6: Keep your voice down.

Americans are known for being loud. That’s one of the stereotypes that is heavily perpetuated and very true. When my American friends get together in Chile, you can’t hear anyone else at the restaurant or on the metro! 

A lot of countries consider it rude to be loud and make a scene in public, so next time you are out and about, try to be courteous and keep your voice down.

Step 7: Watch what you’re drinking.

Young Americans often go abroad where it’s legal to drink under the age of 21 and they get absolutely wasted because it’s their first time (or perhaps first legal time) drinking and they have zero tolerance. In a lot of places, being obviously inebriated is a huge no-no. Everyone has been drinking since they were very young, so they know how to control their alcohol intake; in France for example, children are often served wine at dinner with their parents. 

Also, you should keep in mind if you do end up drinking, you are making yourself more of a target for potential pickpockets or other people who wish to do worse. Obviously, this is an issue in the US as well, but when you are in a foreign place with few friends, don’t speak the language, and don’t know how to get back to your hotel, you are a much bigger target.

Step 8: Learn the language.

…Or at least learn enough words to get around and stay safe. 

 You’ve probably seen one of the viral videos or news articles about some American yelling at a person who isn’t speaking English: “YOU’RE IN AMERICA, YOU SHOULD SPEAK ENGLISH!!!” or something to that affect. Well, one of our biggest stereotypes around the world is traveling and knowing absolutely nothing of the local language….and expecting other people to know English. I think that is completely unfair since only 15% of us are bilingual; Europe has a 56% rate of being bilingual and I can personally say that a lot of europeans I have met are tri- or quadrilingual. My point is that we are in no position to judge others for not speaking English.

To be fair, I experienced a similar instance while in Chile. I watched my German friend attempt to interact with a server at a cafe; he knows enough Spanish to get around, but the server was in a very poor mood and ended up yelling at him and telling him that he shouldn’t travel if he doesn’t know the language. I think this was the wrong way to respond to him as he was actually trying his best and had just started learning the language a month before.

It is especially hard for people in the service industry to interact with American tourists because more often than not they each only speak one language..and its not the same one. This can be very frustrating to both sides, but what we need to do is take a calming breath and try again to signal what we need or want (see step 9 below), or we can get out google translate and make everyone’s life a lot easier. 

Step 9: Calm down.

One of the more disturbingly on-point stereotypes of Americans abroad is how impatient we can get, especially with people in the service industry. We want everything quickly and done perfectly because we are constantly in a rush and the faster things get done, the more products we produce, the more we sell, the more money we make. We are run to death by capitalism.

What we have to keep in mind is a lot of countries move at a much slower pace than the US. In Chile, food takes an hour to come out at some restaurants, drinks sometimes never come, grocery cashiers take their time, people sweeping the floor are often fiddling on their phone more than sweeping, baristas chat more than make drinks, the lunch hour is over 2 hours long, business hours are more likely to be an hour or so off for opening and closing (and lunch); it’s just the way the country works.

So next time you think about yelling at the server for taking so long, keep in mind that your schedule is not their schedule. Instead, plan ahead for the meal to take longer than you’re used to.